How To Fail At Anything 

 October 16, 2018

By  Stephen Hnilica

People say failure is SUPER important to success, so here’s 13 ways to fail at anything!

Don’t try

By far the easiest way to fail is to stay in fantasy and “one day” mode.

Sure, you’ll write that book, or make that movie, or run that marathon… one day… eventually… probably never.

Try blindly

Another quick way to fail is to try blindly, get frustrated when it’s not as easy as you fantasized in your head, then quit.

Plan poorly

By far my favorite ways to fail is to plan poorly or over plan. This is slightly more effort than trying blindly with no plan at all, but it’s fun and you tend to break things. 😀

Spend 100% of your time planning

This is super fun. It’s all of the effort of being successful while never getting there or doing the hard work. You spend all of your good effort trying to figure out what to do and how to do it, without ever actually doing anything. 100% tire spinning.

Implement without checking your progress

This one is alright. If you’re unlucky, you might actually succeed. It’s also 1000% more work than the previous ones.

Obsessively check your progress

I love this one. It’s so great to check how you’re doing every 30 seconds when you’re just starting out. It’s like opening Schrodinger’s box every few moments to see if the cat is dead yet.

Assume you’ll have 110% willpower all of the time and never get demotivated

I’ve done this all of the time. Let’s assume you can do 3x more than if a Navy SEAL and Elon Musk had a love child. That’ll work perfectly!

Diminish progress and small wins

I wrote the first sentence! What a fucking loser, it took me 50 hours to do it and I still have 300 pages to go in my novel.I lost 500g! (because fuck pounds) That’s probably water weight, and this diet isn’t working after 13 hours.

Sticking to the plan when it doesn’t work

Hmm this “mountain dew and candy with milk” diet is causing me to gain weight. I should just keep going until it begins to work.

Focus on being a master when you are a beginner

By doing everything perfect, you’ll never have to learn the pain of being a beginner. You should write as well as Stephen King, tell jokes as well as Louis CK, and work out like Arnold Swaggerer (To be honest, every time I try to spell his name, I can only see him yelling it, and it’s super distracting).

Do things that “Feel Good” with out thinking about if they’re effective

Hmm, writing doesn’t feel very good right now. I know what’ll take my mind off of that discomfort! Skyrim! or obsessively researching and reading other people’s work. 

Wait to “get into flow” or waiting for “inspiration” to hit.

Hello creatives! Yeah, I’m talking to you. We know your default path to an epic failure of a day. “Inspiration” just not coming? Perfect, time to go play video games!

Give up entirely

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re a loser and should give up.”

Hope y’all enjoyed this and are pumped to get failing!

Stephen Hnilica

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